Confusing chemistry and compatibility:
Confusing chemistry and compatibility often spark feelings which sometimes appears to be divine but in the real sense it may be false. The reality is that long term relationship requires shared values, emotional maturity, and spiritual depth. The bible in an Amos 3:3 asked” can two work together unless they agree”? Avoid starting a relationship with infatuation because it beclouds your sense of REASONING by creating a quick bond without mutual understanding and trust. That is why the Bible adviced us in the book of 2Timothy 2:22 to flee from evil desires of youth and purse righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.9
Trying to fix your partner
Relationship is a period of assessment, analyse and decision taking. So many young people spend so much energy trying to change, fix or build their partners as if he/she is a project. Which most of the times leads to control, instead of achieving desired intension which is connection. Your responsibility is to learn your partner to asctain if you can adapt or not. In a situation where your instinct convinces you that you cannot cope, have a conversation over your differences and then call it to an end. There is nothing wrong in refining at the level of friendship without a dream of live – time relationship. True love celebrates uniqueness. Your partner is not created to satisfy your fantasies rather you are expected to adapt.
Overlooking the red flags
Young partners in love often overlook the red signals when in lust due to early excitement. As a result of emotions they become blind to see patterns of this respect, inconsistency, or spiritual misalignment. One of the ways to keep infatuation under control when two people fall in love the early definition of purpose, shared vision and agreement on boundaries. Setting up boundaries is one guiding principle that can keep you safe. Failure by your partner to respect those boundaries, is a red signal for the relationship and the future you are about to build.
Avoiding hard conversations
Delaying or avoiding to discuss topics like faith, family relationship, finances, future goals, early in the onset of a relationship because of the feeling that bring up such topics can affect or ruin the vibe of your new found love. It is very risky to sidestep topics that require vulnerability, honesty, or emotional depth. These conversations gives you a clue of core values, life directions, fears and unmet expectations. These are the subjects that shapes the foundation of a long – longterm relationship. There is no better way to understand your spouse if not by asking questions. Note that some questions concerning your private life such as state of health, previous lifestyles & experiences, background information, sexual life should not be discussed until a mutual understanding and trust is established. Your conversation should be centered on both your family, values and future dreams. The reason is that it might create imbalances in the relationship not knowing the level of your partner’s emotional maturity.
Conclusion: Healthy relationship celebrates uniqueness, don’t overly depend on your partner because it results to burnout. Don’t assume that love will just work without your effort, even the best matched couples falter without emotional effort, communication and spiritual alignment. Never assume that everyone who quotes bible or speaks spiritual language are living it. Watch out for the fruits you can see not just words. Finally, do not rush discernment, lust, emotion, pressure locks it in so quick especially in the faith based communities, instead of seeking someone to pray and discern on your behalf rather pray for yourself, seek counsel from godly and experienced people and give yourself time and follow your instinct which is the still voice of peace inside of you. The greatest decision you can take in your lifetime is who you are to marry because your destiny is tied to it. Let no one take it on your behalf though you need guidlines which Family Affairs Mentorship has choose to do.
If you need help: https://familimentors.com/contact-us/.
- Share
- Repost
